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Joke of the Day

"I hate whales I was out at sea and a whale almost destroyed my ship, a crewmember said that whale collisions where common in that area. But I'm positive that whale hit my ship on porpus."

"I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking."

"What do you call a shooting at a Mexican golf course? A hole in Juan"

"Stop putting famous names at the end of random quotes. - bob marley"

"Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago."

"Do you know which place has the highest concentration of Jews? The atmosphere."

"Bird pokemon must live in mexico because today a local pointed at me and said pinche joto. (The j has an h sound dummy)"

"So a police officer is called out to the scene where a Mercedes is wrapped around a tree, He said ""Well, I guess that's the way the Mercedes Benz"""

"How do you make a blind man mad? Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers."

"At the Bar I was not drunk.. ...At morning I discovered me on my bed but nude!!"