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Joke of the Day
"""I need some space."" - astronaut breaking up with his girlfriend"
Next Joke
 
" Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming."
"What is yellow, fluffy, and hides your slippers? A Labrador Deceiver."
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?"
"Why are there commercials for milk? Who still doesn't know about milk?"
"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear."
"A man runs into a hospital yelling ""Im having a stroke!"" The nurse replies, ""I know sir, but can you please put your penis back in your pants?!?"""
"When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order."
"Lap band surgery Waist knot, want not."
"Little boy: ""daddy, I want to be a Men's Rights Activist when I grow up"" Dad: son, don't grow up to be an irritating wuss"