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Joke of the Day

"Proper diaper fitting If the baby's legs turn blue, it's too tight, if they turn brown, it's too loose."

"When a jury found Chuck Norris guilty of murder, the judge sentenced himself to death rather than sentencing Chuck Norris to anything."

"Birdwatching by Jack Daw"

"I took everything with a grain of salt and now I have hypertension."

"3yo: what are you eating? me: [mouthful of cookies] vegetables"

"My Mexican friend was babbling hysterically but I just couldn't understand his panic."

"How disappointing is it that Han Solo didn't name his son 'Guitar'"

"What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere? Plot twisting!"

"You can make jokes about anything; just not Mexicans. That's crossing the border."

"The bigger issue about the Hobby Lobby decision is the fact that people working in a craft store are getting laid more than I am."