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Joke of the Day

"Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?"

"What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion."

"My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Having hearing problems? Turn down the volume on your porn. Problem solved!"

"My penis died. Can I bury it in your vagina?"

"My parents taught me how to walk and talk Now all they want me to do is sit down and be quiet."

"I like the way you weigh the way I like you."

"All these phone companies advertising for ""More lines, more savings!"" But when I do more lines my savings go to shit."

"Why-Fi: The existential Internet connection."

"i don't think women should stay in the kitchen... i mean, how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house from there?"