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Joke of the Day

"Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?"

"I am 51 and my girlfriend is 8 Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?"

"Woman jokes aren't funny, period."

"Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave."

"What is the most confusing holiday in Harlem? Father's Day."

"What do you call a mathematician who fakes injuries? Fibbinouchie."

"Whats the difference between an Audi and a porcupine? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside"

"I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said ""NOTHING"""

"The meat served in IKEA's restaurant is made of people who couldn't find the way out."

"I hate how everyone thinks I'm a d*ckhead just because I go to the gym! I was a d*ckhead well before I went to the gym"