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Joke of the Day

"[ during job interview ] - ""Why do you think you would make a good asset to our team?"" - ""I give up, why?"""

"What do bed detectives solve? Pillow cases"

"The poor sentence got hurt while riding his bike... He got his dangling modifier stuck in the chain."

"A man walks into a zoo only to find out the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"What's the difference between David Blaine and the NRA? The former has a cunning array of stunts"

"Everyone criticizes the Salem Witch Trials, but we haven't had a witch attack in over 200 years."

"My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles Straight until you get them wet."

"I wasn't sure if I'd find deer out here, until... I saw a sign that said 'Fine for Hunting.'"

"What did King Arthur do in Camelot? He ""came"" a lot."

"I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."