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Joke of the Day

"I've decided to become a raw carnivore... I guess you can say I'm going cold turkey"

"What do two owl brothers say when they are carrying something? To me, to hoo."

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."

"Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife ""promised"" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid."

"Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better. CAN'T WAIT!"

"""STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG"" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. ""This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"""

"What did A and B look for at the beach? A ""C"" gull!"

"Some people might as well post ""Wants Attention"" as their Facebook status"

"I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball"

"How do circumcision doctors get paid? In tips."