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Joke of the Day

"Never trust a tree. They're shady as fuck."

Next Joke
 
"*goes to Walgreens for memory pill supplements* *forgets what they're called*"
"Know why I won't have two pet rocks? 'Cause I ain't raising no pebbles! .. Idk, my brother told me that years ago and I still think it's clever."
"The Final Jeopardy category is: Beer. The answer is: It's f**king close to water. The correct question is: Why is Bud Lite like having sex in a sailboat?"
"Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors? Because he needed laser eye surgery!"
"If there was a male cow made out of earth... That would be terrible."
"I don't know who's worse, the people who sign their cats' names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign."
"""dont get conned into spendin our lottery money"" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? ""NO"" ok [to salesman] one shark pls"
"I'm scared of the toilet That's where shit goes down"
"Knock, knock, Come in."