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Joke of the Day

"Psychiatrist ""Tell me about your trust issues."" Me ""No"""

"I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league. Good players are hard to find."

"My wife asked me to take her to the zoo the other day. I said ""If you want people to see you they can come here and do it!"""

"I accidentally swallowed a piece of string the other day. When it finally came out the back end, it was all tied up. I shit you knot"

"How to fix something: -Say ""let's have a look"" -Describe the brokenness -Break it a bit more -Say ""nah it's broken"" -Place hands on hips"

"I couldn't figure out why my car exhaust was so quiet... It left me baffled!"

"The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance's baby is doing all day everyday day."

"I went to a party with a group of pacifists the other night. It was pretty killer."

"What do you call two Mexicans on the back of a firetruck? Jose and Hose B"

"A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery ""What poor people there are in America,"" a man tells his comrade, ""Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have buttons, and their wine is old!"""