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Joke of the Day

"A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery ""What poor people there are in America,"" a man tells his comrade, ""Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have buttons, and their wine is old!"""

"When I was a kid, my family was very poor... I remember my dad was cutting Onion and our whole family was crying. Poor Onion. He was such a good dog..."

"Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family."

"That new show, Black-ish just started airing in Korea. It's called Brackish."

"My favorite Kardashian is the one who dies first."

"If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first."

"[therapy] ""Where does your fear of spiders come from?"" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay"

"Heard a giant Indian guy sing with the most beautiful voice in the world. Turns out it was actually Dalip Singh"

"How did German men pick up Jewish women in the 1940s? With a dustpan and broom."

"What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather."