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Joke of the Day

"My name is Frank Ulman; my friends call me F.U. I guess that makes me F.U. the first; so if I have a son, he will be F.U.2"

"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."

"What do you call a boner at a funeral? Mourning wood."

"What does a pirate say when he turns 80? Aye Matey. might be a repost sorry if it is!"

"My boss wanted revenge. Boss wanted revenge on me for sleeping with his wife. So he stole my phone to get my girlfriend's mobile number. Poor bastard's been sending dick pics to his daughter all day."

"I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper. But there was no plot."

"Sorry about the concussion Steve but it wouldn't be called a ""trust fall"" if it worked every time."

"Today may be the hottest day of the year but all the other days have nicer personalities."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caterpillar ! Caterpillar who ? Caterpillar a few mice for you !"

"Why didn't Edward leave his house? Because he was Snowden."