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Joke of the Day

"Egypt. Palin. Walmart. Facebook. KE$HA. Bieber. Typos. Snow. Zombies. Superpowers. FFs. Your mom. Boom, I just won Twitter."

"What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever."

"I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face"

"Ran into the apple store and used their bathroom .... iPeed"

"Whats 10 inches? What's 10 inches, has a big red head and makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage"

"What do you call a gay club in the 70's? Phallic! at the Disco"

"People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!"

"Seen on the back of a Harley-Davidson Tee Shirt: ""If you can read this, my bitch fell off."""

"I accidentally bought a bicycle that has no seat it's not a deal breaker but it's kind of a pain in the ass."

"I like my jokes convoluted. What did the vegetarian German probability-mathematician say to the multilingual butcher killing a pig? . . . . . . ""That's the wurst that could happen!"""