177008

Joke of the Day

"My dad used to say me ""what ever you do, don't get killed like a pussy"" and this comes from a man that died in his shed."

"So they're coming out with a new $10 bill featuring a woman. But it's only worth $7.70."

"The racist dove Married a racist hen And together they started A coo clucks clan"

"Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe."

"Amazing how much ""self-help"" advice never gets to the part where you cowboy up and learn how to actually help yourself. By yourself."

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven because they wouldn't let you in because you're terrible?"

"I keep a chalk outline of myself drawn outside my house so any murderers think, ""dang, someone's already got the murdering covered here"""

"What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common? They got into Yale."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu! Didn't I see you yesterday?"

"Why You Need Insurance by Justin Case"