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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Put peanut butter on it."

"Just before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time... I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments"

"Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing? Because they pull out at the last second."

"Trump: ""I'll win the latino vote"""

"Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!"

"Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons? - A: A sourpuss!"

"So a depressed horse walks into a bar.. Bartender says, ""Why the long face?"""

"I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,""Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"""

"I came up with a really awful joke, but I'm sure some of you are twisted like me. I've got a knife and a penis. Which one do you want first?"

"Hear about the porno in a hot air baloon? It was fucked up."