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Joke of the Day

"What kind of music do wind turbines listen to? They're huge metal fans."

"You heard about the guy who had a heart-attack when the police entered his house? He had a cardiac arrest"

"IAN: I broke my leg once ME: I've never broken a bone, touch wood [touches wood] THE UNIVERSE: THIS MAN WILL NEVER BREAK A BONE"

"Dial Up Connection Was the original Dubstep."

"Dog poo was thrown over my fence so I went and knocked on my neighbour's door. I wanted to see if I got him."

"Jesus Christ, i can't believe you people are actually making jokes about using chloroform to rape someone. What the fuck is wrong with you? Just choke her."

"It sucks that Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room at an inn..... but what were they expecting not having a reservation on Christmas Eve of all nights!"

"Wow, you're a Sagittarius?? That must mean you're trusting, passionate and thick as pig shit to think I care about horoscopes"

"If you were looking for a joke about pee... urine luck."

"Daddy long legs are the NBA players of spiders."