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Joke of the Day

"Know what's the best part about my supervisor having an identical twin? I get to watch him die twice."

"My Italian grandmother just got a stair chair lift, I asked her how she likes it... she said ... ""IT DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL"""

"Your mom's got eight vaginas and a Ph.D. We call her Dr. Octopus."

"A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend seemed unusually cheerful. Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or later, time wounds all heels."

"A Canadian man has found a dead mouse in his McDonalds coffee. They just don't seem to put the effort into those happy meal toys anymore."

"Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel well Teacher: Where don't you feel well? Son: In school!"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number; you've probably never heard of it."

"Where do 4 gay guys go? One Direction"

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing...it just let out a little wine."

"What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money? Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)"