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Joke of the Day

"What browser do you use to watch porn? Bill Gates: ""Internet Explorer"" Sundar Pichai: ""Google Chrome"" Tim Cook: ""Safari"" Jared Fogle: ""Tor"""

"ah excellent, an update to this software i use. think i'll select remind me in 4 hours twice a day for the next seven months"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... with a big cup size."

"My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees."

"What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants"

"Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, ""wow, it's really getting hot in here."" The second muffin says, ""Wow... a talking muffin ! """

"It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today... ... Because she's dead. Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor."

"What does a cannibal drink for breakfast? A cup of Joe."

"Q: When was the longest day in the Bible? A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve."

"With all the awful things happening in Nepal... you just have to wonder...what would Kathmandu?"