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Joke of the Day

"I'm really glad the Revolution happened in the 1770s. If it happened this decade we'd all just sign a petition saying we hate the King"

"Nietzsche's girlfriend said ""honey, what's wrong?"" He replied ""nothing."""

"Ppl at Starbucks are weird. They love it when I bring our chihuahua in a little baby stroller, but get all freaked out when I let him nurse."

"Who's the first Irishman to come outside every Spring? Patty O'Furniture"

"Well, just got a job at the guillotine factory. I'll beheading there now."

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle... ...theres too many cheet-ahs"

"Why are the Jews angry about the new $20 bill? Because it's only worth $12 now"

"I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day"

"'Why are you crying Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'"

"Brussels: 3 year old kidnapped Slept for two hours"