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Joke of the Day

"I finally found a girlfriend and when I did I got really pumped. Sadly after a year in the storage she needed a lot of pumping as well."

"A quick question... How do I disable the autocorrect function on my girlfriend?"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? James. Who else has a Meowth and still wants someone else's Pokemon?"

"What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac? You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog."

"I bet Dell Curry is not mad... he's just disappointed. Happy Fathers Day!"

"What do you call a skeleton who just had anesthesia? A numbskull"

"[faulty megaphone] LISTEN MAN, I {dont} THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT. THERE'S {no} HOPE IF YOU DO. [bangs megaphone on hand] JUST {dont} KILL THEM"

"The smarter the person, the less they tell you about it."

"What's the difference between a black man and a bike? The bike doesn't start singing when you put a chain on it."

"I hope Death is a woman That way it will never come for me"