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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to go to college to be a farmer. But, they didn't have a degree in that field."

"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("

"Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!"

"Why did the Fonz have red eyes? Because he had **AYYY** fever!"

"How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count? The girl has to chew before she swallows."

"For almost a year I thought I was a man trapped inside a woman's body Then I was born."

"If I were an astronaut, I'd want to be one for the Bahamas because I really don't want to take the risk of actually going into space."

"If I had a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on... I'd be like, ""Why ya'll keep giving me all these dimes?"""

"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"ADELE: hello from the outside ME (closing blinds): a restraining order means nothing to that woman"