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Joke of the Day

"Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!"

"Some chick got her nipple pierced at the bar last night. I'm not very good at darts."

"You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid."

"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."

"I have a great vocabulary, just ask my um female dad"

"What do you call a guy that overeats for the sole purpose of getting stomachaches? A glutton for punishment."

"2016 That's it."

"How Does Moses Make His Tea? Hebrews it"

"You staring at your phone= jerk. Me staring at my phone= cool guy with lots of shit happening in his life."

"""Let's go around the room & name our biggest fears"" SUPERMAN: Kryptonite BATMAN: Bats MARIO: When a turtle slowly walks in my direction"