173520

Joke of the Day

"What happens to the chicken who decided to cross the highway Chicken decided to cross the highway for excitement It was fun in the beginning but eventually it got **tired**"

"My successful pancake business was recently shut down Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot"

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."

"if you ask a veteran if they've killed anyone and they say they don't like to talk about it, that means no"

"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""

"Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. """

"What's a pirate's favorite explosive? M80"

"I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more."

"I just bought a new boomerang How do I get rid of the old one ?"

"What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? He gets taller."