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Joke of the Day

"Muy Picante: What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child."

"[awesome life of caterpillar] 1) all I do is eat, awesome 2) time to sleep in this cozy bag, awesome 3) *wakes up*OMG I CAN FLY NOW, AWESOME"

"Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level."

"I think I'm gonna just be a rapper. apparently you need zero experience, and zero talent to be a millionaire in the rap game now?"

"Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue."

"Apparently there's enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot."

"I went out drinking last Friday and took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"Did you hear about the race between Cambodia and Burma? It was a Thai."

"Some people are like water balloons; they're more fun when you throw them out the window."