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Joke of the Day

"""UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!"" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum"

Next Joke
 
"What do math teachers grow? Geometrees and trigonometrees"
"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop? A Shatbook."
"Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably."
"Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an ""I"" Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an ""I"". Always put 'am' after an ""I"". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
"Tips to reduce weight... First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!"
"A redditor discovers that the world will end in 23 hours... The news never even got to report on it."
"So my japanese girlfriend dumped me the other day.. .. Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea."
"Ever since my wife had her toes amputated I can't stand to be around her. I guess I'm *lack toes* intolerant."
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