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Joke of the Day

"Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in."

"What were the Crocodile Hunters last words? ""You Irwin some you Irlose some"" Then he dieded."

"I want to treat you like my big toe and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house."

"Do you know why russians always rush B? Because they already Russia."

"The best part of being married with kids is.....is.....umm.....Yeah."

"Responsible parents should teach their kids that it's not the person you hate, it's their guts."

"Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman... But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become president."

"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hunchback Barbie ...pull the string and she cries ""Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"""

"When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It's just one boat, how many could there be, they said."