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Joke of the Day

"There is really no easy way to say it, ma'am, but your son has just fallen into the Eyjafjallajokull."

"Trump has a tower? Well Bernie has his towers too. The Twin Towers... They felt the Bern."

"Ugh. It's bath time again and I always forget if you wash the baby on 'delicates' or 'permanent press'."

"Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p"

"You don't really know someone until you observe their behavior around an unlimited salad bar."

"Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a snail trail"

"Why are men like paper cups? They're disposable"

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"Beef Jerky Did you hear about that new kind of Porno where a slut from Vietnam gives a cow a hand job? It's called Beef Jerky. http://earlmcgerd.tumblr.com/"

"Why didn't the proctologist show up for work? He had two cars, but he rectum both."