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Joke of the Day

"A Japanese company upset Americans by selling clothes labeled Skinny, Fat and Jumbo. They have since changed them to Large, Extra Large and American."

"Usain Bolt's Girlfriend She pulled a fast one!"

"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking intents"

"Did you hear about the guy who kept fucking cheerios? He was a cereal rapist"

"What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive? Popeye fucking smacked him one."

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"[ten seconds into tv interview where my identity is being protected] camera guy: don't try to disguise your own voice, let the machine do it"

"I take offense to this subreddit... ...and use it to keep the animals out."

"I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake"

"I can get into aquariums for free, because I donated a whale! I guess my ex's sister was useful for something after all."