172276

Joke of the Day

"Guys say ""never trust something that bleeds seven days and doesn't die"" as if something with two heads powered by one brain is trustworthy."

"[E] open box [empty]"

"What did the winner of the weak muscles competition get? Atrophy."

"Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died? He just needed a little bit of Clojure."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers But the cashier keeps putting it back."

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."

"""Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing green spots."" ""Have you seen an optometrist?"" ""No, just green spots."""

"Your love is like Vicodin. You take away my pain but make me sick to stomach afterwards and you're also white."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? (Why?) To get to the idiots house."

"An American spy on Russia has just leaked confidential information regarding their government [deleted]"