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Joke of the Day

"Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though."

"I hate when I can't find a decent status update to steal."

"1st old man says ""I wish I could pee with no problems"", 2nd old man says ""I wish I could poop easily"", 3rd old man says ""I easily do both by 10am...."" "".... problem is, I don't wake up til noon"""

"How high can Miss Piggy count? 68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat..."

"a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers"

"They should make a medal for anyone who uses a whole tube of chapstick before losing it."

"I had no shoes and I complained. Until I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes."

"What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises? He lost his hearing."

"Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the same things over again, but it's worth the occasional gold I find."

"What do you call a cold Jewish person? Iceberg."