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Joke of the Day

"A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says ""Can I smell your pussy?"" She replies ""Hell no!"" The man says ""Well it must be your feet then."""

"I went on a date with a girl who said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I strapped her in the back of my Mercedes and drove into a wall."

"So Zayn quit the band? His life is obviously taking on a new direction..."

"Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school."

"What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino?? Well hell-if-i-know!"

"What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called? Running a Backgroud Check."

"whats a frogs favourite type of shoe... open toaded shoes"

"What job can you see yourself doing? Inspecting mirrors"

"Why did the terrorist kill his wife on their anniversary? She got him the wrong kind of blowup doll."

"I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her."