171532

Joke of the Day

"Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse"

"If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?"

"If you've never seen Bear Grylls before... Urine for a treat"

"I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I? 2.71828183"

"Everyone is furious about Trump's greatest crime: Beating a woman"

"Why is Chicago called the Windy City? Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows"

"Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care."

"What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars."

"Why does the blood bank never make mistakes? Because they're typo negative"

"Why did the raisin go to the police? Because, he was a grape victim."