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Joke of the Day

"There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out."

"How do you get everyone in a chemistry department to kill themselves? Get them to unionize"

"""What kind of house does cheese like to live in?"" ""A cottage"""

"I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject."

"I'm not saying she's a sl*t but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head."

"Why do you become a smurf every time you are sad? Because you're feeling blue."

"What does Sarah Palin eat when she's high? Baked Alaska"

"Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred."

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call her and tell her all about it."

"A drunk law undergrad walks into a bar... ...the invigilator kicks him out."