17113

Joke of the Day

"Virgin Airlines should just be itself. It'll happen eventually."

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?? A Brazilian"

"OMFG! THAT'S what 'food baby' means?!?! You guys, I just made a horrible mistake. :("

"DOCTOR: You should lose some weight ME: Ok I'll consider it VET: Your dog should lose some weight ME: Hey bud, you're going on a diet!"

"My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading."

"In a hurry? I'll tell you a joke about my penis. It's short."

"Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side"

"Really? ""Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"" Um...may I introduce you to pizza?"

"Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?"

"Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !"