171111

Joke of the Day

"Me and my lover, sitting in a tree A-R-G-U-I-N-G"

"If hillary nukes Russia I can see the headlines now ""Everyone in Moscow commits suicide"""

"In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it."

"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."

"What did the vegan give the homeless guy? A lecture."

"Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go."

"Things I trust more than Trump 1.Flint, Michigan water 2.Bill Cosby drinks 3.Elevator rides with Ray Rice 4.Donated blood from Magic Johnson 5.Casey Anthony with my kid"

"I hate people who think it's cool to take drugs ...like customs officers"

"How did the puppeteer meet the President? He pulled some strings."

"The Spanish explorers went round the world in a galleon. How many galleons did the get to the mile !"