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Joke of the Day

"wife: I saw in my dream that you were buying a diamond ring for me Husband: I saw your dad paying the bill... :D"

"Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love."

"I used to be addicted to soap... ...I'm clean now"

"My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'"

"Orange Signal Booster Network Service has a mobile phone signal booster that is specifically designed to improve the Orange Network signal."

"How do you make 50 old ladies go ""fuck! Shout ""bingo!"""

"Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. ~Menstruational Tweet"

"Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to burst into tears as his grandmothers Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer recognize him."

"A girl at the restaurant was about to eat her food before I stood up & yelled ""STOP. THIS IS NOT THE THIRD WORLD LADY. INSTAGRAM IT FIRST"""

"*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* ""Have you had the kid yet?"" -No ""Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."""