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Joke of the Day

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first."

"If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?"

"Yo mamma so dumb..... That she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side."

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing."

"Did you hear about the gay turtle? Finally came out of it's shell."

"What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies? I don't know; they were speaking Spanish."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"A hammer and a Nail cost $1.10 The hammer is a dollar more than the nail, how much is does the nail cost?"

"Dear microwave companies, Why make us select ""cook"" at all? Does my appliance have a calculator function or something? Sincerely, Everyone"

"""Hey, wanna hangout?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""No, later"" ""How about now?"" ""Jesus christ."" -if Adobe Updater was your friend"