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Joke of the Day

"My friends wanted to play a board game but we couldn't find a game that we were all in the mood for. We finally settled on Catan."

"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""

"ant-man: im here to stop u bad guy: [pulls out a can of Raid] ant-man: motherf"

"Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective."

"I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, ""boners."""

"What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates? Arkansas"

"What is called a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone with no dressing."

"Whats the difference between a sly pig and a yeast infection? One's a cunning runt....."

"Give your tweets a CB radio feel by adding the word, over at the end. Over."

"Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee"