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Joke of the Day

"If I asked you if you were dumb, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

"Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms."

"My Persian friend and I were having lunch... But something came up and I had Tehran."

"I was gonna make a gay joke... Butt fuck it"

"What do you call a ghost without any feet? A lost sole"

"TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia. Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast."

"[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day."

"Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have."

"To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it"

"An English man, an Irish man, and a Scots man walk into a pub. They head to the bar and the bartender says, ""what is this, some kind of joke?!"""