170212

Joke of the Day

"My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology. ""They're not the only ones,"" I said, looking at his mobility scooter."

Next Joke
 
"I'm working in a bar and a woman walks in and asks for a double entendre. So I gave her one"
"My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down."
"They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs."
"How many Patriots fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They're fine sucking each other's dicks in the dark. Preemptive edit: Not my joke."
"Pick up line for fat chicks ""Hey girl, put down that cupcake, you're already too sweet."""
"I'd complain about the bathroom smelling like pine, but I'm sure it's better than whatever smell the pine is covering up."
"What is the difference between a Lannister and a Greek? A Greek never pays his debts."
"Why did Victoria lose her job? We don't know, it's Victoria's secret."
"Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia."