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Joke of the Day
"Why are doritos triangular? Because they are illuminachos."
Next Joke
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry."
"You can eat a huge bag of cashews right in front of a cop and he can't do shit about it because cashews aren't illegal."
"What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit? Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something."
"Why are chickens never virgins? A: Because when they're born they get laid."
"There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot."
"So a drum falls off a cliff... ... Ba dum psshhh!"
"I just released my mixtape in Tianjin. It was da bomb. Too soon?"
"I heard women love a man in uniform. Can't wait to start working at McDonalds."