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Joke of the Day
"What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks? Gee, you knit?"
Next Joke
"""What's funny?"" The microwave beeping as you walked backwards. ""Why's that funny?"" Because large objects beep going in reverse, Diane."
"What does it sound like when two churches fight? Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!"
"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""
"You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off"
"A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."
"Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses ""windows""."
"Aliens watching our media must assume we are being implored to show allegiance to our ruler, a mysterious entity named ""Geico."""
"I gotta imagine one of the worst things you can do is shit your snowsuit."
"Two people who like the same things will be good friends but two people who hate the same things will be best friends"