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Joke of the Day

"before you do a horrific crime, double check whether you could get the death penalty for it and if so whether you really want to do it"

"I have the heart of a lion.. .. and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo."

"How do you catch a rare rabbit? Unique up on it"

"My wife wants to go see the Suffragette movie. But she doesn't get a vote."

"Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis."

"What does someone do after they eat too much bacon? They go hog wild"

"What's for dinner Dad? *Wookie steak.* Is it any good? *A little Chewy*"

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? In case he got a hole in one."

"I have a short joke for the ladies, on Thanksgiving My penis"

"I once heard from Stalin that dark humor is like food... Not everybody gets it."