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Joke of the Day

"Do NOT look under a teenage boy's bed, & never, EVER ask him why he & his friends are laughing. - two things I've learned the hard way"

Next Joke
 
"Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips."
"Hey girl, is your PH 14? Because you're really fucking basic."
"My GPS just told me to turn left into a cornfield and now I'm afraid it wants to murder me."
"A termite walks into a bar... Is the bar tender here?"
"TIME TO RETIRE Q: WHEN DOES A PROSTITUTE KNOW IT TIME TO RETIRE? A: WHEN SHE CAN NO LONGER HIDE THE STRETCHMARKS AROUND HER LIPS."
"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."
"What do you call a drug-addicted vampire? Crackula"
"A large chunk of ice walks into a bar and places his order. ""I'll take a whiskey on the rocks."" The bartender looks at him and says, ""I'm sorry, sir, but I can't serve your kids."""
"What does a doctor prescribe a hardcore porn actress, when her vagina is too swollen to work? Antifistamines."