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Joke of the Day

"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream? A: Wet feet."

"I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away."

"What's the Difference between NHL Players and the Jersey Shore Girls? NHL Players shower after three periods."

"When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather."

"god created the world in 7 days well it took 9 months to create me so clearly im a big deal"

"Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed."

"I keep a second pair of shoes at work, I don't want people to recognize me when I'm pooping."

"In was in a bar the other day. The barman said ""I see your glass is empty. Do you want another one?"" Why the fuck would I want 2 empty glasses?"

"I swear skinny people without butts eat the most... They're bottomless!"