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Joke of the Day

"Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green? For camouflage."

"I childproofed my house, but they keep getting in."

"My jeans smell weird so I guess I should wash them in two weeks."

"Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave"

"Sexual intercourse: It's just wanking that's got out of hand."

"What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !"

"What can't you hide in a basement full of dead hookers? My erection"

"When you get sloppy seconds and get her pregnant. You get a sloppy Joe."

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"How do rednecks circumcise a baby? Kick their daughter in the jaw."