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Joke of the Day

"Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate."

"Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two tired."

"My friend said he was really down because of his car troubles... I told him i didn't wan't to hear his saab story."

"What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon."

"When the farmer counted his cows he had 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200!"

"What's the best way to get to the mental hospital? Take the psychopath!!"

"Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose"

"What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali? Too soon"

"Nobody in America dies as a virgin... because our government fucks us all."

"Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one..."