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Joke of the Day

"I hear that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your genes."

"I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street the other day so I had to run back home and check that mine was still there. It's OK though, mine was still there, just sitting there shining my shoes."

"I asked my Grandfather what it's like to have Alzheimer's. He stared blankly at me as he no longer remembers any of his family members or how to construct sentences."

"Local Drowning A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented ""He was too far out, man."""

"What do you call a Nazi who left the war to become an animal doctor? A Veteran Aryan"

"[Spelling bee] Judge: ""Your word is unhelpful."" Kid: ""Can you use it in a sentence please?"" Judge: ""Nope."""

"A pirate walks into a bar And the bartender says, ""hey, you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?"". The pirate replies,""arrr, I know, it's driving me nuts""."

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger"

"PERSONAL TRAINER: so how much do you bench? ME: a fair bit but I usually bed or sofa."

"Why did the banana go to the hospital? It wasn't peeling well."