169134

Joke of the Day

"Got in our old Mark 1 Golf today... ... My dad grabs shifts into reverse and says....""Aah, this takes me back"""

"Two gerbils....(NSFW) ...are walking down the street and come up to a gay bar. One turns to his friend and asks. >Wanna go inside and get shit faced? Lemmiwinks is your clue."

"What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns? Go for the juggler."

"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."

"What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him? Get bent!"

"I am so dwarf that... I am so dwarf that people don't take me seriously enough to win any competition other than stand up comedy!"

"Her: I'm going to the gym Me: Bring me back something from the vending machine"

"I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish"

"Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you."

"A gay man killed his cheating boyfriend The Police call it ""homocide"""