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Joke of the Day

"What does a stripper do to her asshole before work? She drops him off at band practice."

"Did you know if a person farts too much their ass turns blue! It's from the methane, just look at Uranus!"

"joke is on you What's the opposite of funny? answer: Jay Leno"

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is."

"Who is the wealthiest shellfish in the sea? [x-post from r/underwaterjokes] It's Prawnold Trump!"

"Shout out to the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets. *Friend posted this. Gave me a good laugh."

"What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity? Veni, Vidi... Veni."

"What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's really heavy and the other's a little lighter."

"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."