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Joke of the Day

"I've never eaten the right amount of Indian food."

"What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out? He saw stars."

"What do you call a floating potato? A levi-tater."

"The Quark joke Mad they are, the up is not the top. The down is no the bottom, they can be charming but also strange because they only stick to the same sex."

"Don't masturbate with Crisco. It's shortening."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breathe through something that small?!"""

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""

"My wife keeps on calling me ""gullible"" and ""financially irresponsible"". I just can't wait to see her face when I tell her I won the Nigerian lottery."

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"I was a baker when I was in the army. When I went to war, I went in all buns glazing."