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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends? Change for a buck."

"An SQL query walks into a bar ... Walks up to two tables and says: ""CAN I JOIN YOU?""; ---- ^^^Sequel ^^^to ^^^this ^^^joke ^^^coming ^^^soon"

"My friend's mouth and tongue were blistering and burning after eating tacos last night... serves him right! I told him not to eat Mexican."

"If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150."

"Girls are like condoms They spend more time in the wallet than on your dick."

"Are you from Memphis? Cause you look like your parents were related."

"If George Washington were alive today why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to."

"I don't understand how Authorities can tell us that we ""Can't Negotiate with terrorists..."" I just got a free can of Coke with my kebab..."

"Communists only write in lowercase letters because they hate Capitalism."

"I stubbed my toe while visiting my parents. ""Mother fucker!"" My dad pops up, ""Hey! We agreed that you'll stop calling me that and I'll stop calling you 'cunt squatter.'"""